Aftermath of a CSEC | The Postpartum Hell

It has been a mentally challenging journey for both of us. The feeling of excitement, fear, exhaustion, sadness, anxiety etc.

I have heard a lot of horror labour stories but I never thought one of them would happen on me.

When it becomes your reality, it is scary, traumatising and can feel so isolating. It’s experiencing the highest highs and the lowest lows in one day.

Hope and faith kept me going and I’m sitting here today holding this sweet miracle in my arms.

24th Sep 2021

After delivering, I was at the recovery room with hubby and baby. I was offered a popsicle as I can only take some fluid but not solid food yet. A few hours later, they brought me to maternity ward.

After dinner, hubby went home as he still have to take care of Keira. I was then brought to a single room. Everything was just fine until at 22:35 I felt a sudden abdominal pain and dizziness. I started having difficulty to breathe. I pressed the bell and a nurse came and pushed on my stomach to release blood from my uterus. My blood pressure dropped to 67/50. Mw then came in and she noticed my dark coloured urine and asked me to drink plenty of water. I was hooked the 4th bag of iv fluid. I was also given a stronger pain relief as they thought it might be the contraction pain.

At 23:27, I rang the bell as my abdomen was so painful and I was feeling dizzier than before. I could hardly breathe and my stomach cramped when pressed. Blood pressure was 70 and hb level went down to 75. My blood sample was collected and sent to the lab. Dr Louis came to check on my abdomen and commented it was quite tender and told nurses and mw to check on me every half an hour.

At 00:00, I was feeling so sleepy that I couldn't open my eyes. The abdomen pain was getting more intense. Nurses and mw came in to make sure I was staying awake and kept monitoring my blood pressure, heart rate and hb level.

My condition was getting worse. Dr Amanda and Dr Louise came together to check on me. I was moved to birthing suite immediately where nurses, mw and doctors surrounded me and hooking me up to monitors. Dr Amanda did an abdomen ultrasound and by this point, my gut was telling me that something was not right. 

"I asked her if I was going to die."

The scan showed that I had too much bleeding in my abdomen. After a quick huddle with other providers, they decided that I need to have another surgery done. My heart sank. I was in a dilemma to call hubby as I knew he would be sleeping at this time and I didn’t want to wake Keira to come to the hospital. But at the same time I was worried that I might lose my life on that day and not seeing them for the last time. I know how pessimistic I was but could not help it as my condition was really bad! Midwife asked me to call my husband as she felt that he has the right to know. 

Hubby then rushed to the hospital with Keira and managed to see me before I left to OT.

Baby latched on to get some milk while mw managed to collect 1ml of colostrum from my right breast just in case baby was hungry. 

At 4:30am, I went back into OT for another surgery. Based on my understanding, the doctors opened the same scar and did another laparoscopy（post-op haemorrhage control) to examine the bleedings inside the abdomen. I was put on GA and hubby couldn’t go inside the theatre. He waited with Keira at birthing suite together with baby. The operation took about an hour to finish and I was only back to consciousness at about 7am. 

Dr told hubby I lost copious amounts of blood (3 litres) due to internal bleeding. And they were surprised how did I cope with the extreme pain for so long. Honestly, I didn’t know I was losing so much blood!

After the operation, I was transferred from recovery area to AOU. Mw and nurses constantly monitoring my urine colour, heart rate and blood pressure. Gladly, the urine colour turned into something better, blood pressure maintained at normal level. However I feel constantly exhausted because my heart rate has been pumping up high due to massive blood loss.

27th September 2021

At midnight  I had a sudden temperature of 38.4 and blood pressure went down again. I was given paracetamol and a jug of ice water. Dr suspected I had some infection after the second surgery and blood transfusions. So iv dripping of three different antibiotics into my body and started trimethoprim to treat UTI.

I requested for discharge on day 7 as I missed my daughter so much. After went through all the routine tests and blood test, doctor gave me a green light.

When we got home, there were a lot of adjustments.

I was happy to be home at the same time struggling with emotional roller coaster.

Luckily hubby had applied a month off work. He is doing most things right now including household chores and cooking confinement food for me. I’m grateful I get to just relax and recover. Thank you for being the greatest and loving husband in the world.

At the same time we are trying to keep Keira’s routine so hubby has been taking her out for classes and preschools. Trying to keep her occupied. Keira seems to be liking her new sister. She will kiss and hold her baby sister whenever she sees her.

I’m learning to navigate our emotions, both mine and my toddler. Trying not to have a mental breakdown as my toddler has yet, another tantrum. But I always end up in tears thinking I do not spend quality time with my elder daughter.

If you had an emergency c-section or if you’re at risk of blood clots, your midwife will give you a supply of a blood-thinning drug called clexane.

I have a needle phobia, when I discovered I have to get 10 clexane injections on my belly, I burst into tears at the prospect of an injection. I am so done with clexane!

The csec recovering process - slow, painful and discouraging at times. But with all the hard and painful memories come the proud and joy filled ones too.

Sometimes it’s necessary to remember the lows to appreciate the highs.

(Check out my vlog here: Birth Vlog)

Now, we are adjusting to life as a family of 4.

Emotional is an understatement and simply running on love. I have learned how essential it is to fill my cup to be a better mom, wife and person overall.